Boston Weak

I know this happened over a week ago, but I haven't had time and I wasn't going to not put this up.

Also, it's been a while since I've had an excuse to post this abortion. Enjoy:

This was just sent to me. Too funny not to post:

All Star Superman

And then there's this...

...which oddly enough was recorded by original St Elmo's Fire themesmith John Parr. This (and the other parody songs) don't change the fact that Tebow's an overrated douchebag. Fuck him, fuck Green Bay, and fuck the Giants! I mean go Giants! Shit. Whatever.

Wait! What?

In an unfortunate turn of events, I will be rooting for a New York sports team this Sunday. An occasion so rare that I felt needs some sort of documentation. So if any of my asshole friends are reading this I will drink out of your atrocious pint glasses this weekend. However as soon as the game ends, I will resume my hatred regardless of the outcome, so there is a possibility that I will replace my drink with urine. My point being: Fuck Aaron Rodgers! Fuck Green Bay! Go G-Men!

Never Forget

Squidbillies premiere and the first full day of football! This is going to be the best 9-11 ever!

Good Riddance

See you in Hell, Asshole.

It's Always Sucky for Philadelphia

Congratulations to Da Chicago Blackhawks not only for winning The Stanley Cup, but also for disgracing Philadelphia in a sports championship for the second time in eight months.  Suck it, Philly!

Also, one more time:

Mustard

So, over a month ago, I said I would try to catch up on this page.  Obviously, I haven't.  I'm going to attempt this again.  A lot of the stuff I had planned is going to be irrelevant now, so I'm going to condense everything I had planned over the last month in this one post.  Here we go:

• First off, I've been working on Chunklet's upcoming book, and am now writing for their website.
• Isis is disbanding.  You can read about it and download some live stuff on www.chunklet.com (damn, I'm smooth).
• Da Blackhawks are still awesome.  More on that in a couple weeks. 
• LOST ended.  I liked it.
• Ronnie James Dio died last week.  That sucks.  Go find some videos on www.youtube.com.
• Iron Man 2 is really good.  Although the first was a lot better, and Terrance Howard was a much better Rhodey.
• Shade the Changing Man is going to be in upcoming issues of Hellblazer.  Shade is one of my favorite Vertigo series, and I'm excited to see Peter Milligan writing the character again for the first time in seven years (there was a short story in the Vertigo tenth anniversary book).
• Free Comic Book Day sucks.  I know it's basically advertisements disguised as free comics, but can't anyone put out something worth reading?  I give Image credit for putting out Savage Dragon 146 last year.  It's something comic readers would want.  And Marvel prints out books with smaller dimensions.  You're owned by Disney and you can't put out a full-sized comic book like everyone else (including tiny indie companies)?  Fuck you!
• Lastly, I have a stack of books that I picked to write about as Book of the Weeks.  I'm just going to list them.  They're all good.  Look at the companies' websites if you want synopses.  I should be getting the past couple of weeks' books soon, and will write full reviews on them:

3-24-10: Hellblazer 265 (DC/Vertigo)
3-31-10: Punisher 15 (Marvel)
4-07-10: S.H.I.E.L.D. 1 (Marvel)
4-14-10: Punishermax 6 (Marvel/Max)
4-21-10: American Vampire 2 (DC/Vertigo)
4-28-10: Fantastic Four 578 (Marvel)
5-01-10: Iron Man Thor (Marvel)
5-05-10: Hellboy in Mexico (Dark Horse)

15W

OK. I can breathe again.

16W

Playoffs start in a couple of days, and I wanted to take this opportunity to mention that I miss the whole 16W thing, and am going to bring it back. For anyone who doesn't know, in their old arena, the Devils were exit 16W off of the Turnpike. During the playoffs, this fact would always be brought up, because you need 16 wins (16W, get it?) to get the Stanley Cup. I know it doesn't make sense to keep this because the new arena isn't really by the Turnpike (I think it's Exit 140something from the Parkway), but that doesn't matter to me, because tickets are to God damned much money and I won't be going near the arena anyway (unless I happen to be in Newark for an unrelated reason), so fuck it. I'm taking it back.



Also, don't think that I forgot to take this opportunity to say: Rangers suck dicks in Hell! Enjoy the golf courses, Douchebags!

Opening Day, Fuckers

Suck it, Yankees!

Running With the Devil

Not much of a surprise, but the Devils are officially in now. Fuck off, Pittsburgh.

Is It Just Me...

... or does anyone else find the use of Lou Reed's Perfect Day in this Olympics ad totally weird and maybe even a little disturbing?

Fuck Yeah

Some Music Notes (Pun Definitely Intended)

In what I thought was going to start off being a slow year music, a few things have come to my attention over the few day:

I got an email from the Gorillaz a few days ago announcing a new album. Totally kick ass news from a band I never thought would never put out another album. They posted their new single, Stylo, on their website:

http://www.gorillaz.com/

It kind of sounds like Safety Dance, but I'm still not really liking it yet. That's OK. Their last album, Demon Days, is one of my favorite albums from recent years. I'll probably get the new album based on that alone. Plastic Beach is due out March 9th in the States.


Prince is continuing the trend of not doing anything cool since he played the Superbowl three years ago. Right after the Vikings' victory over the Cowboys last week he went home to record this abortion:



In case Prince has had the above link deleted (it's likely), the song is Purple and Gold, Prince's tribute to the Minnesota Vikings.

This is the most embarrassing Rock n' Roll sports theme since Ministry released this a couple years back:



At least they knew to sing about a real sports team. Fuck the Vikings.

OK. I have one more, then we're off to something relevant:




Murder By Death is also releasing a new album. Good Morning, Magpie will be released on April 6th. I don't know much else apart from that it will not be a concept album.


JG Thirwell's Manorexia will release their third album, The Mesopelagic Waters, through Tzadik in March.


Chunklet has posted an early Karp demo tape on their website:

http://www.chunklet.com/index.cfm?section=blogs&ID=594

I originally wasn't going to post about another post, but then it was brought to my attention that some douchebag (hopefully, I didn't just call someone from Karp a douchebag) was listing it on ebay for $500, so I wanted to make this download more widely known.

Also, look around the site. In addition to many other cool things, they just posted the (possibly) final show of the reunited Jesus Lizard: NYE, Chicago. The NY show that I went to was easily the best thing I saw last year.


Finally, I'm going to give a shout out to a new band called Stars Don't Sleep. Their singer, Adam Hagar used to live about five minutes away from me in my tiny redneck town in NJ, although had not found me until he moved to the opposite side of the country.

They just released their first EP which you can download for free off of their website. When I get around to it, I will do a full review on Comfort Comes, (which I have recently been neglecting to get this off the ground, but should get back to it because I have things piling up that I should get to while they are somewhat new) although you should really just listen to it yourself. It's right here:

http://www.starsdontsleep.com/songs/

Fuck You, Brian Michael Bendis

Marvel recently released The Siege #1, and I am not happy with writer Brian Michael Bendis. Not because the book lacked in quality; it was a pretty decent setup of the miniseries.

I'm also not critical (like many others) that the story's catalyst is similar to that of Civil War. I thought CW was unreadable and maybe could have been better if Bendis had written it. Now, maybe I'll find out.

I'm even overlooking the pretentious in-house ads. Seven years from what? Bendis started his Avengers run in mid-2004. Secret Wars started shortly before that.

What really grinds my gears is the way that Bendis kills off beloved characters without even a thought of how the fans feel. I am not talking about Hawkeye. It was cute when Hawkeye got offed in Avengers: Dissasembled. Hell, it was downright hilarious when he killed him again the following year in House of M.

What I am very upset about is that in The Siege #1, is that the entire Chicago Bears team get blown up. Totally not cool. What? Just because they haven't played that well the past couple of seasons, Marvel thinks they can kill a classic football team on one page and that no one cares. The only silver lining is that we don't know who da Bears are playing. I suppose it could be Dallas. I mean, really. No funeral with Cap and Spidey and everyone crying.

And what about one-shots? Why hasn't Marvel released special books that show different heroes reacting to this. I'm not going to be happy until I see a Da Bears: Rebirth series.

In protest, I am not going to advise a boycott. I think its going to be a really good story. Actually, I don't really care if it does suck. I'm so nerdy, I'm just giddy thinking about Cap, Iron Man, and Thor back together.

What I advise people to do is for Bears fans to go to Marvel offices and disrupt work by doing the Superbowl shuffle through the halls (possibly naked). If don't know the dance:



If that seems like too much, send mail to:

brian1138@aol.com

Also, anyone who thinks that that is the siiliest sports song should watch this: