So I guess some studio musician who worked with Weird Al died.

This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It

I figured I'd review this book since I've reviewed everything else related to John Dies at the End. But then I thought: maybe I'll just review every book I read. I don't have as much time to read anymore, so it won't be a lot. Why not start a new column and review some novels without graphics? I couldn't come up with a title I liked, so I'll just use the book's title until I come up with something better. Or maybe I won't. Who knows?

I'm going to be vague while discussing plots, because I don't like to know too much going into a book. I even consider people who read the copy on the back to be Philistines. I go into that stuff with comicbooks a bit more, but that's more so I can nitpick. And also, they take about 10 minutes to read. I don't want to spoil something that you may be invested in for a couple weeks.

And I'll also review books I can't finish. Don't tell me it gets better after page 200 or in the next book. No one told me that before I started Game of Thrones or Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It wasn't until I mentioned how shitty those books were until people started saying, "Book two is where it gets really good. You have to stick with it." Fuck you because (1) I don't believe that every book I read coincidentally gets so much better after the page I left off, and (2) even if that is the case, there are literally hundreds of books that are great from page one. If I need to suffer through hundreds of pages I don't like to get to something tolerable, it's not worth it. I don't care how many movies they make.

Anyway, on to my review of This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It, the sequel to John Dies at the End. I'm going to say that if you liked JD@TE you should like this. The horror and humor are similar. The structure's a bit different as Wong probably knew this would end up as a novel going into it. JD@TE debuted as a short online story that got several additions due to its popularity. Eventually it got published in book form. Because of the way it was written, it was naturally a lot more episodic. This one's more of a cohesive story line. The first one was probably a little more terrifying and exciting because everything was new, not only for the reader but the characters as well. Even so, I still loved this book and hope for more stories of Dave and John.

Against My Better Judgement

I gave this book the benefit of the doubt mainly because I was excited for the movie which somehow got amazing reviews which I don't really understand. I guess because all comicbook movies always get amazing reviews. I don't know. I can't really call it a bad movie. I liked it more than most comicbook movies, but I generally don't like comicbook movies. I do love the original Iron Man. Perhaps I should really do an Against My Better Judgement column on Iron Man 3 alone, but I couldn't call it a waste of time or money. It was a movie. and I'll leave it at that.

I was also intrigued by this Stark Seven story arc that Marvel's been promoting. I felt maybe because the movie was coming out last week that Marvel might try to release some A material to coincide.

Buying this went against my better judgement for several reasons. Most obviously, there's a baby on the cover. While this is obviously a metaphor and not in the comic. I should have also viewed the diaper as a metaphor on what this issue was filled with. I'm being unfair to make a poo joke. Much like the movie, I really can't call this comic good or bad. 

Another reason I shouldn't have picked this up is because I decided I didn't like this book eight issues ago. I've since cut my Marvel list down to three, so I figured I'd give it another chance. Where this issue seems to start The Secret Origin of Tony Stark, the entire issue is really more of a segue than a prologue. Stark walks around space cities and talks to Death's Head and robots which is kind of cool, but ultimately feels like decompressed filler.

The last few pages start a film reel of Howard Stark explaining some sordid secret history, but there's not a not a lot to get me hooked and pick up the next issue. They really needed to tease a little more for me to at least get interested. For example, instead of ending the issue with Stark saying into the camera, "It's time for you to know the truth. Son, you may need to have a drink." Maybe end the issue with something that leaves the audience a little more confused or horrified. Something like, "Let me tell you about the time I raped Galactus." I don't know. There's a reason a don't write for Marvel.

What you should get instead is Ten Grand by J Michael Straczynski and Ben Templesmith, published by Image. I haven't really ever been too impressed by Straczynski, but I also haven't read a lot of his work. I picked this up because of Templesmith's art, and it turned out to be a really cool book. Without giving too much of the story, it's part horror and part noir. I loved it. You should really check it out.