Rated R

I think the Oscars were the other night because I hear people talking about it. So I'm sure something won but I don't know what it is because I'm not even sure what was nominated. Except for The King's Speech because people won't shut up about it. You have to see The King's Speech. Yeah. That's how I want to spend two hours. Watching some douchebag learn how to not stutter. I mean we already have My Fair Lady and the Family Guy parody of My Fair Lady. How much more shit do we need about Brits that can't talk? And even when they can speak English it's all wrong anyway. They're like let's smoke a fag and drive a lorry. Mr T knows that's jibber jabber. At least there's not a sex scene I have to hear about. I swear that people's only defense of Black Swan is that there's a hot lesbian scene. It's like don't you assholes have the internet? You don't need to sit through 90 minutes of obvious symbolism that belongs in a freshman writing class to see cunnilingus. Anyway what I'm leading up to is if you want to see a movie that's fun go see Drive Angry. It's about someone who escapes from Hell and drives around chasing with a Satanic cult who killed his daughter and is about to kill his baby granddaughter. He also has a pentagram-barreled shotgun and drinks beer from skulls. And Nicolas Cage has one up on Colin Firth on acting. He overacts which is kind of like fitting 10 lbs of acting into a 5 lb acting bag. It's like the acting equivalent of Super Sizing. Also I wanted to apologize for not getting to this faster. The movie bombed so tonight might be the last night to see this. Sorry. Now watch this: